I read a lot of conspiracy theories about various alien factions attempting to take over the Earth. And I have to wonder: why? Why would an alien civilization which is manifestly able to travel across vast distances of space - presumably at faster than light speeds - spend more than ten minutes maneuvering their metaphorical troops?
Why don't they just do it, already?
This is a question which is never quite answered in a satisfactory fashion. Now granted, there are many reasons why an alien civilization would want our planet. It is rich in minerals and animal life and vegetation and clean water and catchy pop music. So why sequester yourself inside our hollow planet* and silently manipulate our world's leaders? Why not just, like, take it?
Let's face it: we as a civilization have little in the way of defenses. Not against aliens with faster than light travel. Even in our cinematic masterpieces, our fellow humans occasionally resort to just punching the aliens in the face.
Nukes? Please. Alien ships probably eat nuclear weapons for breakfast, and poop ICBMs the next morning after having a nice cup of coffee.
Plus, our nuclear weapons systems are kind of geared towards hitting other targets here on Earth. I'm not sure you could even shoot them up into the air at an alien ship if you wanted to. And even if you did, surely those ships move fast enough to get out of the way.
Of course, there is the standard old excuse. I remember a scene in a book (maybe by David Brin?) where a young kid asks an old military guy why the aliens did such-and-such. And the older more experienced guy replies, "That's the thing about aliens, kid. They're alien. Who knows what they're thinking." Who knows why aliens would hide in the shadows and manipulate the United States slowly towards a state of martial law! Those wacky aliens!
The Matrix movies had an interesting take on this question. This is one of the few movies where aliens are depicted as coming to Earth and just plain taking it over a hostile non-human force just plain takes the planet over. The conspiracy then becomes one of covering it up. (Their little project, using humans as batteries, is pretty dumb. But no one ever said aliens intelligent self-replicating robots were smart enough to understand geothermal energy.)
I can absolutely believe in human groups conspiring to alter or control world events. People are small and weak and kind of stupid. We like to control things, and some of us like to control things a LOT. But aliens? It just doesn't make any sense. If the reptilians want to harvest our flesh, then I have to believe they would just come down here and harvest it.
This is where you start edging strangely towards religious discussions. The human-centric view of the universe is a very Christian one. And it's not hard to spot biblical elements in the theme of evil aliens trying to manipulate or control us. Maybe reading the Bible too much makes you see demons everywhere, the same way that watching too many horror movies will have you seeing a zombie in every lurking shadowy hatrack.
* You know Earth is hollow, right? There are dudes down there and everything! I should write about that in an upcoming post.
Why don't they just do it, already?
This is a question which is never quite answered in a satisfactory fashion. Now granted, there are many reasons why an alien civilization would want our planet. It is rich in minerals and animal life and vegetation and clean water and catchy pop music. So why sequester yourself inside our hollow planet* and silently manipulate our world's leaders? Why not just, like, take it?
Let's face it: we as a civilization have little in the way of defenses. Not against aliens with faster than light travel. Even in our cinematic masterpieces, our fellow humans occasionally resort to just punching the aliens in the face.
Nukes? Please. Alien ships probably eat nuclear weapons for breakfast, and poop ICBMs the next morning after having a nice cup of coffee.
Plus, our nuclear weapons systems are kind of geared towards hitting other targets here on Earth. I'm not sure you could even shoot them up into the air at an alien ship if you wanted to. And even if you did, surely those ships move fast enough to get out of the way.
Of course, there is the standard old excuse. I remember a scene in a book (maybe by David Brin?) where a young kid asks an old military guy why the aliens did such-and-such. And the older more experienced guy replies, "That's the thing about aliens, kid. They're alien. Who knows what they're thinking." Who knows why aliens would hide in the shadows and manipulate the United States slowly towards a state of martial law! Those wacky aliens!
The Matrix movies had an interesting take on this question. This is one of the few movies where aliens are depicted as coming to Earth and just plain taking it over a hostile non-human force just plain takes the planet over. The conspiracy then becomes one of covering it up. (Their little project, using humans as batteries, is pretty dumb. But no one ever said aliens intelligent self-replicating robots were smart enough to understand geothermal energy.)
I can absolutely believe in human groups conspiring to alter or control world events. People are small and weak and kind of stupid. We like to control things, and some of us like to control things a LOT. But aliens? It just doesn't make any sense. If the reptilians want to harvest our flesh, then I have to believe they would just come down here and harvest it.
This is where you start edging strangely towards religious discussions. The human-centric view of the universe is a very Christian one. And it's not hard to spot biblical elements in the theme of evil aliens trying to manipulate or control us. Maybe reading the Bible too much makes you see demons everywhere, the same way that watching too many horror movies will have you seeing a zombie in every lurking shadowy hatrack.
* You know Earth is hollow, right? There are dudes down there and everything! I should write about that in an upcoming post.