Obama's Secret History on Mars

Obama's Secret History on Mars

When the CIA denies something, doesn't that make you believe it even harder?
It seems like every sitting American president gradually accumulates their own conspiracy theory lore. I suppose it's only natural to suspect the worst of the person with the most (nominal) power in the country. And (although that title has slipped somewhat in recent years) of the most powerful country in the world.
 
The most well-known Obama conspiracy is the "birther" debate. Although to call it a "debate" is to elevate the discourse beyond what it deserves. But there are other conspiracies, as well. Including one which was recently officially denied by the CIA: that Obama was teleported to Mars in the early 1980s as part of a secret CIA exploratory mission to the red planet.

Two men named Andrew D. Basiago and William Stillings claim to have served as "chrononauts" with DARPA in the 1980s. What is a chrononaut, you might wonder? According to Wired Magazine, their job included "traversing the boundaries of time and space."
 
And they say that Barack Obama was right there with them.
 
This conspiracy is doubly salacious, because it means that Barack Obama lied in 2008 when he claimed that he had never served in the military. Thus conveniently leaving out the part about serving in the CIA's intergalactic service, which was based out of a California community college.
 
One wonders why the CIA would send a nineteen year old kid to Mars. Indeed. According to Basiago and Stillings, he was one of ten teenagers who was sent to Mars, which he visited twice between 1981 and 1983.
 
Conspiracy theorist extraordinaire, retired Major Ed Dames, is wrapped up in this, as well. Basiago and Stillings report that Dames told Obama that "Simply put, your task is to be seen and not eaten." Evidently Dames had reason to suspect that the Mars natives were as hostile as they were hungry. Obama and the other teenagers were being sent to Mars as part of an acclimation program, to get the Martians used to our presence. 
 
For his part, Major Ed Dames phoned Coast to Coast AM and denied everything. Dames, who is famous for being one of the most celebrated "remote viewers," has previously remote viewed Mars and claimed that it is riddled with the underground bunkers of a former civilization - but that this civilization has long since collapsed. However, Dames claims that Basiago is delusional, and denies that he was ever involved in the CIA's teleportation program.