CDC insists there is no Zombie Apocalypse
But they WOULD say that, wouldn't they?
The Zombie Apocalypse has weighed heavily on the hearts and minds of Americans in the last week. It all started with one crazy-ass story, and quickly spiraled out of control as every single zombie-related news story got pushed to the top of the heap. This is clearly just a case of selection bias run amok, but it looks like it will take a little while longer to burn itself out.
In the mean time, the CDC has been pushed to the point of making a public statement to the effect that it isn't possible for corpses to reanimate themselves, and that there is no zombie disease. Sure, easy for them to say! If you have watched the first season of "The Walking Dead," then you know that CDC headquarters in Atlanta apparently includes a vast and surprisingly effete collection of wines. I don't know where their wine cellar is, but judging from what we see in the show, it must be huge.
(Also, the CDC's headquarters come with roll-down metal shutters at ground level, so that it can close itself up like a New York City deli when the Zombie Apocalypse comes. The things you learn on television!)
We all know the CDC's disavowal is disingenuous. The idea that zombies are literally the reanimated dead has lost a lot of currency in recent years. The movie "28 Days Later" never uses the word "zombie." Instead, its victims are fully alive, if driven to maniacal lengths with a violent disregard for their own safety. The Rage Virus is something like a super-fast, super-sized version of rabies. And it creates the infamous "fast-running vampires."
Is this what it feels like, at the beginning of the apocalypse? Most zombie stories take place just after the apocalypse has begun, typically as it has nearly run its course. The traffic jams have already crested and been abandoned; the shopping malls are dusty, yet still full of merchandise.
There are a lot of things you can do to prepare yourself for the apocalypse. But I think the best all-around option is to get yourself in peak physical condition. A fit body can run from zombies even after the gasoline's all gone, and in the absence of electricity. Being in good shape will also make it easier for you to migrate, forage for food, and survive in a post-apocalyptic world.
And I think, all things considered, that the best way to do this is with the help of the iPhone app "Zombies, Run!"