The "Death Ray Conspiracy"

Jesse Ventura is back with a vengeance!

The third season of "Jesse Ventura's Conspiracy Theory" is proving to be as awesome as it was long-awaited. In the second episode of the season, Ventura and company target the conspiracy theory that a death ray was developed by our government, and that people have been killed to cover it up.

Ventura's biggest suspicion about this theory was raised by his understanding of the Star Wars situation in the 80s. According to Ventura's speculation, at first we were hearing a lot about Reagan's plan to protect America from nukes using a space based orbital laser platform. But then the talk about Star Wars all just sorta fizzled out without anything coming of it.
 
I found Ventura's understanding of Star Wars somewhat, shall we say, "interesting" for someone who has literally held public office. I would have thought that a state governor would at least be aware of the conventional wisdom regarding Reagan's political moves. 
 
In the case of Star Wars, the conventional wisdom is that Reagan invented it whole cloth and promoted it in order to force the Soviets into bankruptcy. In trying to invent their own Star Wars, the Soviets burned so much money that it became one of the leading causes of the collapse of the Soviet Union. 
 
In many circles, Star Wars is regarded as one of the world's greatest propaganda moves. Reagan essentially destroyed the evil empire without firing a shot, or costing the American public a dime. The truth is a little bit messier, of course, but in essence, Reagan's Star Wars missile defense plan was an elegant example of the power of words and psychology to effect global change.
 
You would think Ventura would be all over that action. It is, after all, a proven conspiracy. But instead he gets led afield by talk of Nikola Tesla and death rays and "directed energy" and in the end it all circles back around to 9/11 and that's pretty much where I threw the whole thing out the window. Why would anyone use a death ray on the Twin Towers, when a bomb or a missile (or heck, even just crashing into them with a couple of jet planes) is a million times simpler, not to mention cheaper.
 
There is a lot of interesting physics on display in this episode, but none of it gets explored. Instead, we get a lot of "gee whiz this gadget is nifty" with no talk of how they are powered, how they stack up to a standard laboratory or medical laser, and so forth. The ultimate effect is both numbing and lurid. And if that sounds confusing, you should see the actual episode!
 

Obama secret mind control plot subject of Georgia GOP presentation

The "Agenda 21" conspiracy theory.

On October 21, Republican lawmakers in Georgia held a four-hour closed-door caucus. The topic: Obama's secret mind control plot, and his culpability in pushing a United Nations resolution designed to force Americans out of the suburbs and into the inner cities. The ultimate goal being for the government to take back everyone's land and herd the populace into a network of urban death camps.

 
The event was hosted by Field Searcy, who had previously been kicked out of the Georgia Tea Party for his outspoken beliefs in the Birther and 9/11 conspiracies. Searcy explained that Obama was using a form of mind control known as "Delphi," which was apparently developed by the Rand corporation during the Cold War. 
 
(Note: This is the first I have heard of this technique, and I can't find any information online that isn't directly related to this incident. If you can point me to a source about Delphi mind control outside the context of this story, I would appreciate it.)
 
The half-day presentation included a screening of the 90-minute documentary "Agenda: Grinding America Down" which details the ways in which the United Nations non-binding resolution Agenda 21, which suggests that its member countries take steps to mitigate urban sprawl and control population growth, is actually a global conspiracy to rob landowners and destroy America. 
 
The presentation included a slide which compares Obama's planned actions to the works of Stalin and Mao Tse Tung. 
 
By the way, this raises a connection between this particular form of crazy and the Lyndon LaRouche nutters who are setting up shop outside small town post offices across the country. These protestors are responsible for the "Obama With A Hitler Mustache" signs, and for the "Bush With A Hitler Mustache" signs of the previous administration. 
 
I confronted a LaRouchie a little while back. In addition to being rude, smug, and sneering, I also learned that the LaRouche movement is more of a cult than a political party. And that yes, they do believe that Obama is literally as bad as Hitler, and that Obama is planning death camps and death trains.
 
The LaRouchies have been active in local Tea Party chapters, and I am reasonably certain that they are playing a large part in this Georgia situation, as well.
 
But to return to the story at hand, several Georgia lawmakers were convinced to put legislation on the books exempting them from the non-biding resolution. And this happened BEFORE the election. I can only imagine how wacky things have gotten in the South since then.

The reptilian conspiracy

A conspiracy so unlikely, even Jesse Ventura doesn't buy it

Jesse Ventura's Conspiracy Theory is back for a new season, kicking off with an episode about the Reptilian conspiracy. The first episode of the third season brings in two new investigators: Jesse Ventura's son, and Oliver Stone's son. (At least they still have one female investigator, so it's not completely a bunch of white dudes. Not completely.)

The reptilian conspiracy was brought fully-formed into the world in 1999 by David Icke. And as Jesse Ventura takes great pains to point out, Icke makes quite a lot of money off his pet conspiracy theory: almost $2 million a year if you tally up his book sales, website income, and speaking fees.
 
Here's a tip: when Alex Jones thinks you're too "out there," it's time to take it down a notch.
 
According to the reptilian conspiracy, our world is being controlled by shape shifters whose normal form is that of a humanoid reptilian creature. The tip-off is if you freeze frame footage of famous people (like Obama and the Queen) you will occasionally see a flash of scales on their skin, or their eyes might flicker to vertical slits. Too fast for the naked eye to catch, of course. 
 
Those who post these videos to YouTube claim that this is a function of the shapeshifters' inability to keep total control over their appearance at all times. It's like the reptilian version of a nip slip. 
 
Far be it from me to cast aspersions on a video posted to YouTube. But these are also things which are trivially faked. Particularly because, since it is "only visible" in freeze frame, you don't have to animate it. All you need to do is Photoshop up a single frame of video and boom, there's your reptilian.
 
The show manages to dig up a few people who are (presumably) not directly affiliated with Icke. One is a woman who believes that she herself is a reptilian. Although apparently one who is positively disposed towards humanity. Like the reptilian equivalent of the old movie standard, "the assassin who gives up assassining and tries to save lives instead."
 
This woman is unable to transform on cue, although she does undergo an odd experience when apparently her pupils seem to change shape. But it isn't really caught on camera, and it could just be a trick of the lighting, so who knows. (Anyway I wouldn't consider it proof - I would consider it a symptom of neurological problems.)

Ghost captured on CCTV at haunted English pub?

Could this object be the ghost they named Beryl?

Ordinarily, I would dismiss something like this out of hand. It's just a blotch on the camera. Probably a speck of dust. You can read anything into it that you like. The pub's proprietor sees a woman who "looks like she is in her fifties. She appears to be wearing a fur collar and is looking down the bar towards the front door. I don't see that - I just see a blob - but what elevates this beyond the realm of "blob on camera" is the pub's long history of haunting.

Unlike many of these "ghost on CCTV footage" clips, this one comes from a location which has a long history of ghostly phenomena. One of the oldest pubs in the Yorkshire town of Kingston upon Hull, the Manchester Arms dates back to the 1700s. 
 
When the pub's new owners arrived on the scene a little over two months ago, they quickly accumulated a series of strange occurrences. They have named the ghost Beryl, and blame her for everything from the feeling of being touched to strange electrical occurrences and turning off the sump pump in the basement that prevents it from being flooded in rainy weather.
 
One of the pub's owners, Lisa Fowler, says that "Sometimes it feels like someone is running fingers through your hair." At other times "it feels like someone is behind you, but when you turn round, you catch a shadow in the corner of your eye but nothing is there."
 
These are classic manifestations of hauntings. And where else would you expect to be haunted, but a three hundred year-old English pub?
 
The haunting got kicked up a notch recently after closing time, when Lisa was upstairs and spotted something on the CCTV screen. She assumed that the barmaid, Gemma, had let someone into the pub. Lisa phoned down to ask, and when Gemma said that the place was empty, Lisa ran downstairs assuming that they had an intruder. Instead, she found an empty room.
 
Up until this incident, Lisa had explained away the occurrences as being normal (if odd) phenomena. But the CCTV incident and captured footage convinced her of the existence of Beryl.
 
Luckily, Lisa says that Beryl doesn't feel sinister. It seems that, like many ghosts, she's just a lonely old lady who likes to hang out at the pub and play the occasional silly prank. She probably just wants a pint or two!

Biodynamics: When magic, astrology and farming collide

Manage your crops with magic and astrology!

Some populations seem more susceptible to superstition than others. Sailors, baseball players, and yes, vintners. People who grow wine have long had a reputation for strange beliefs and superstitions regarding their crops. Perhaps it is because, much like baseball and sailing, growing wine grapes and making wine is a perilous activity which is as liable to random failure as it is success.

But it wasn't until this Cracked.com article that I discovered how truly bizarre some vintner practices really are. It all stems from a practice with the bland and reasonable name of "biodynamics." Biodynamics began in the early 1920s with a spiritualist named Rudolf Steiner. Steiner's beliefs were a mix of astrology, mysticism, and spirituality. 
 
In 1924 a group of farmers asked Steiner to opine about the best way to grow crops. Although Steiner had no farming experience, he cobbled together a plan which treated the entire farm as one single organism. Steiner's method aimed to increase soil fertility without the use of any chemical fertilizers or pesticides. 
 
All well and good. Doesn't sound too bad at this point, does it? Let's get into specifics. 

 
Or the Biodynamics recipe for compost. While most compost is comprised of a specific balance of organic material (including spent hay, animal bedding, and food scraps), Biodynamics compost consists of cow horns filled with manure and quartz dust, which are buried for the winter. According to Biodynamics, this practice works to fertilize the soil because the cow horns (which must be arranged in a specific pattern) "are utilized as antennae for receiving and focusing cosmic forces."
 
The proof is in the pudding, or so the vintners believe. Biodynamics has spread like crazy through the wine-growing culture. Although recent chemical analysis has shown no difference between conventional wine and Biodynamics wine, connoisseurs swear they can tell the difference. 
 
Hmm… I wonder if these are the same connoisseurs who keep failing blind taste tests. Various double-blind studies have proved that wine experts are unable to tell the difference between white and red wine, between the same wine poured into two different bottles (the one with a fancier label was rated far higher), or tell the difference between a $5 and a $50 bottle of wine.

Hurricane Sandy: The result of weather modification technology?

Some believe HAARP caused Sandy

I'm a little surprised (and frankly a little disappointed) to see so few conspiracy theories springing up in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. But one theory that crops up over and over is the idea that Sandy was created by the secret ability of governments to control the weather. Either accidentally or deliberately creating a superstorm.

The HAARP antenna array bears a lot of the brunt of this sort of thing. HAARP has long been a darling of the conspiracy theory set, due to its seemingly mysterious nature and a lot of overheated conjecture. (After watching the Jesse Ventura episode about HAARP, I came to the conclusion that HAARP theories largely boil down to people not understanding what science is or how it works, and a sort of generalized anxiety about government security.)
 
Chemtrails are showing up in Sandy chatter, too. Under normal circumstances, a passing jet airplane will leave behind a trail of condensation in the sky. These white trails may linger for minutes, even hours after the plane passes, depending on the high altitude weather conditions. 

But some claim that these are more than mere condensation trails: they are crop dusting us with chemicals, or seeding the upper atmosphere with (depending on the flavor of theory) chemicals to cause climate change, or particles to reflect sunlight and prevent climate change.
 
Certainly these jet trails are commonly seen in the sky above New York City and lower Manhattan. It is, after all, one of the world's busiest skies. At times, the aviation traffic is as bad as the vehicular traffic below.
 
Conspiracy theorists on both sides of the aisle are pointing to Sandy's timing as evidence that it was deliberate. Those on the left believe that Republicans created Sandy in order to make Obama look bad, and to disrupt the ability of liberal and non-white New Yorkers to get to their polling places. Those on the right believe that Obama engineered Sandy to force Americans to rely on his good will, thus engendering positive feelings towards the incumbent that would translate to votes.
 
(Neither side can account for the fact that Romney has openly advocated dismantling FEMA in the past. Even Republicans are disowning him on that point right now.)
 
And on the other hand, you have those who believe that Sandy is the result of climate tinkering gone out of control. I suppose for some people it's easier to believe that the government is to blame for a disaster of this magnitude, than that the world's climate is changing for the worst. 

Lindsay Lohan blames Sandy on people "projecting negativity"

Apparently she's a Secret/Laws of Attraction devotee

You know your beliefs are in trouble when Lindsay Lohan - the notorious rolling disaster of Hollywood - espouses it. Lohan took to the Twitters recently to shake her finger at people who are "projecting negativity" regarding Hurricane Sandy. "Think positive and pray for peace," she urged.

Let's overlook the fact that "peace" is a weird thing to pray for with regards to a hurricane. (Could Lohan be getting the storm confused with the rioting in San Francisco?) By telling people to "stop projecting negativity," Lohan has signaled that she is one of the many of devotees of The Secret, a.k.a. the Law of Attraction.
 
This incident is an excellent example of the prime problem with The Secret, which is that it espouses a "blame the victim" mentality. More than that; the belief actually hinges on blaming the victim. If people on the Eastern Seaboard are injured or killed by Hurricane Sandy, it is because they - or too many people - projected negativity. 

The strict prohibition on negative thoughts also has the side effect of crippling Secret devotees' ability to plan ahead for problems. By thinking about a hurricane, The Secret says, you are actually bringing it into existence. Therefore, the less you think about it, the better off you will be.
 
This is problematic, to say the least. It means that Secret devotees will be reluctant to stockpile bottled water, take time off work, or even stay indoors during the storm. 
 
The flip side is that it encourages people to take risky behavior. Think positive thoughts: go into work anyway! You'll be fine! Don't think about the bad stuff. Just act like everything will be alright, and it will.
 
There is some truth to this in most people's everyday lives. Just like when you're gambling at a casino, you only win as much as you risk. The more you risk, the more you can win - OR lose. But according to The Secret, if you lose, it's because you (there's that "blame the victim" again) were thinking too many negative thoughts.
 
I certainly hope no one actually looks to Lindsay Lohan for advice. It certainly isn't worth dwelling overly long on the negative side of life. We all know at least one tiresome person who insists on constantly wallowing in the worst case scenario. But bad things DO happen to good people, and particularly in the case of massive weather events, sometimes you should "hope for the best but prepare for the worst."

Amazing UFO footage from Kentucky

Surprisingly convincing for a YouTube video

Last week several eyewitnesses reported seeing a strange bright light in the sky. But only one person filmed it: an amateur astronomer named Allen Epling. On October 16th he was alerted to the presence of the strange light. He hustled outside with his telescope and a video camera, and caught some amazing footage.

These days I dismiss most video out of hand. It's trivial to fake anything you want with CGI, and when you rule out the CGI work you are usually left with people who filmed something normal without realizing it (like a flotilla of white balloons from a wedding, or the reflection of lights in a window pane). But in this case, I have to say I am fairly convinced that this recording is just what it purports to be: video footage of a strange UFO in the sky over Kentucky.

First, we have the corroborating stories. Unlike most hoax/mistaken identity videos, this was a situation where many people throughout the area reported the sighting. Kentucky State Police told local newspapers that they received five calls about the object hovering over Pikeville, and that the object was also seen over other towns nearby.
 
Next, the fact that this occurred in broad daylight. It's literally child's play to attach a string of LEDs to a kite or an RC helicopter and send it buzzing around in the middle of the night. But this sighting took place in the middle of the day, against a bright blue sky. I'm not aware of any LEDs that can put out this kind of wattage in daylight. It would take a fairly powerful light source to be this bright in full sunlight. 
 
And finally… yeah, that's a pretty weird thing. Epling says it looked like two parallel fluorescent tubes which would gradually brighten and then get dim. The long rectangular shape is very peculiar. The only possible explanation I could think of would be some kind of unusual box kite, perhaps fitted with something that was reflecting sunlight.
 
If you look carefully, it appears that the two light sources are shaped like two arrows pointing back-to-back. If this object was moving, I would suspect that it was an airplane with unusual reflectors or a military drone. But Epling and other eyewitnesses say that the object was hovering silently in the sky. (It may appear to be moving in Epling's footage, but he has clarified that this is just the movement of his camera as he had to manually hold it up to the telescope's lens.)
 
All in all, this is definitely a remarkable find.

Shiny bits on Mars

What are these metallic bits Curiosity keeps finding?

 

Curiosity has found even more of the little bits of shiny things. What are they, and where are they coming from? The first time Curiosity panned down to reveal something shiny in the Martian soil, scientists assumed that it was a flake of something that had fallen off the Curiosity rover itself.
 
They scooped it up for closer inspection, to see if it was something important or not. Upon analysis it turned out to be plastic, and not something necessary to the rover's operation. (I guess even Martian rovers can have bits of leftover flash flaking off them?)
 
Other shiny bits found on the surface were presumed to be scraps from the rover's descent mechanism, the complex and ingenious series of devices that transferred the rover from outer space to the Martian surface. You would expect some bits to get blown around, after a landing that dramatic. 
 
All well and good. But now Curiosity has been scooping up soil, and finding even more shiny bits buried inches below the surface. Surely these cannot also be from the rover or its transportation equipment?
 
Curiosity's team is currently working under the assumption that these shiny bits are flakes of metal, or possibly something resulting from an unknown geological soil process. The Martian shiny bits are currently under investigation and analysis, but it will take several weeks before we get definitive results back.
 
In the mean time, the scientists have dubbed these shiny bits "schmutz." Of course, some people are hoping these objects may come to be called "proof." Proof of life on Mars, or of alien visitation. 
 
Speculation has always been rampant about alien life on Mars. Memorably, remote viewer Joseph McMoneagle once claimed to have viewed Mars' past, when it was inhabited by a race of very thin, tall, large people who wore "strange clothes" and who communicated telepathically. McMoneagle claimed that he himself was able to communicate telepathically with these Martians of the long-ago past. 
 
According to McMoneagle, the Martians left (and/or were wiped out) after "a major geologic problem." Perhaps this "problem" was responsible for scattering all the metal bits throughout the Martian sub-soil. Or perhaps - more boringly, but more realistically - they are just chips of quartz or some other shiny silicate that might be found in soil. 
 
Of course, the first object - the one that turned out to be a chunk of plastic - was from alien visitation. Meaning, us!

Astronomers find planet made of diamond

Should De Beers be worried?

It may sound like a story straight out of the lurid pulp sci fi novels of the 1950s and 1960s, but this story is all too true: a new planet named 55 Cancri e is made mostly of diamonds. 

The 55 Cancri solar system is located a mere 40 light years from our own, and it is extremely rich in carbon. It is part of the constellation of Cancer, and is visible with the naked eye on a clear night. 
 
55 Cancri e is the innermost planet, zipping around its star at a surprising clip, with a solar year that is a mere 18 hours long. This close to its sun, the surface temperatures of the planet average around 3,900 degrees Fahrenheit. 55 Cancri e is twice as big around as Earth, and has eight times the mass. The immense pressures and high temperatures mean that 55 Cancri e has converted an estimated third of its mass into diamond. 
 
It would not be an easy matter to mine 55 Cancri e, even if we overcame the hurdle of faster-than-light travel. The surface temperatures are hot enough to melt metal, and it is constantly bathed in intense solar radiation that would make it impossible for a life form (like ourselves) to get near the planet. 

At current diamond prices, Forbes estimates that the diamond planet would be worth $26.9 nonillion; 384 quadrillion times the amount of Earth's GDP for an entire year. But even if it could be mined, the resulting treasure trove would surely be worthless by the time it was brought back to Earth. Diamonds are only valuable because of their scarcity. And even that is a false scarcity, an illusion maintained by the De Beers diamond company which warehouses untold billions of carats of diamonds in order to carefully maintain prices on the market.
 
Even De Beers, with all the resources at its disposal, would have a difficult time buying and hiding an entire Earth-sized planet made of diamond. But since diamonds (unlike oil or drinking water) have no inherent value, bringing a huge planet-sized chunk of diamond back to Earth would only guarantee that all diamonds would instantly become worthless.
 
De Beers is one of the most powerful cartels operating on Earth. Surely they would extend their cartel into space, once space travel becomes possible. In the past ten years, De Beers has pled guilty to charges of price fixing the price of industrial grade diamonds to the U.S. government, and has settled several class action lawsuits regarding price fixing gem diamonds as well. The company swears it has cleaned up its act, but is anyone really buying it?

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