I got 99 problems but a name ain't one
The royal leaders of American music, Jay-Z and Beyonce, gave birth to their first baby over the weekend. Following the long and colorful trend of "famous people giving their kids weird names," they chose the name Blue Ivy for their little girl.
The buzz began as soon as it was announced. Jay-Z has a long history of being on the wrong side of conspiracy theorists on the internet. There is a long-standing rumor that he is a member of the Illuminati, or the Freemasons, or both. And it is true that he frequently makes use of highly charged symbols like the pyramid with the floating eye. Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber flash their fans a heart, but that won't do for Jay-Z! His special hand signal to his fans in the audience is to form a triangle (or pyramid, depending on your point of view) with the index finger and thumb of both hands.
Whether he believes that he's part of the Illuminati, or he's swiping iconography from American currency, or he's tweaking the conspiracy theorists because he thinks it's funny, is impossible to say. I suspect it's a little of all three, frankly.
So you can imagine what anticipation people were feeling for the birth of his first child. The first rumor started flying on Twitter: that Blue Ivy was named after Elub Yvi, which was supposedly Latin for "Lucifer's Daughter."
I'm a little disappointed at the conspiracy theorists on this one. That is so preposterous, so patently untrue, and yet people kept Tweeting it? I hope they were passing it along ironically. Who would possibly think that the name "Blue Ivy" spelt backwards actually meant "Lucifer's Daughter"? Or that Lucifer has a daughter? Or that it would be in Latin for some reason, which is weird, given that the Bible was written in Hebrew and Koine Greek. For pity's sake, people!
Another theory is that Blue stands for "Born Living Under Evil," which is a little strong for A) a little baby and B) a pair of pop stars, don't you think? Ivy is said to stand for "Illuminati's Very Youngest."
Frankly, I would be less dismissive of these claims if either Jay-Z or Beyonce had ever been demonstrated to have changed the world even the teeniest tiniest bit. Beyond being mega-hit pop stars, what exactly have they done to deserve the mantle of "America's Most Conspiracist Couple"? Surely they must be the most useless members of the Illuminati. (But of course, I reserve the right to recant if their Reign of Terror begins tomorrow.)